Don’t play with the heart you won’t claim

On this topic, let us set the record straight that both males and females are guilty as charged: dumping a partner in the lounge is not the sole practice of any particular gender, it is something done by any guy or gal – out there.

Sometimes, when a partner breaks the relationship – I ask myself what the person was thinking before agreeing to the relationship in the first place. Perhaps, there was no definition of the relationship and no guiding principles?

While I am tempted to tilt this topic in favour of the ladies, I will try my best to remain objective, because, I have been at the receiving end, myself. So, what is the problem of people that break relationship like they, easily, break peeled coconuts?

 

Godly relationships are good to have

While there is no specific age of entering a marriage-oriented relationship, I want to opine that it is one of the best thing that could happen to any lady or guy: I have (notwithstanding) learnt, now, that the years of courtship should not be too long to avoid many ungodly, heartbreaking issues.

After all, everyone that desires marriage must enter a relationship with someone, but an unhealthy and ungodly relationship will bring so much trauma to those involved: “I realize from my pastoral experience, that marriage and its complicated challenges can adversely affect most Christians and hinder individuals who are called to ministry”.[1]

At the same time, being single is not tantamount to being miserable: singlehood is a period for personal development – preparing yourself to become the best for your marriage partner, and equip yourself for the purposes of your existence. So, love your period of singlehood (to as many that are still single) and enjoy the accolades that come with it.

However, prevent yourself from unnecessary time wasting – when you realise that you are ready for marriage with the necessities on ground.

 

Why you should not frolic with someone you won’t marry

Of a truth, every relationship (whether heading for marriage or not) brings a sense of satisfaction – at varying degrees though, but then, it is not good playing with the emotions that you will not consummate in marriage.

Having such relationship opens you up to series of things like: sex before marriage, unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, delayed dreams, unfulfilled dreams, abruption of education, dejection from the society among others. This is because, from the on-set, your mind would be made up and you would, only, want to enjoy the satisfactions that come with a romantic relationship.

Whereas, you are supposed to enter into a relationship for the purpose of marrying the person – under a limited time possible.

 

Then breakup happens, it’s devastating for a while

I agree that breakup could happen due to positive and/or negative indices: the results, for a while are, however, always devastating – for the person who breaks the relationship and for the other partner.

Notwithstanding, healing will come: the two of you will move on, but a bad precedent might repeat itself, if care is not taken, for the person who (out of nothing breaks a relationship) while the other person might find someone else to build a meaningful life with.

Sometimes, the one who breaks a relationship might move on faster than the other person: hence, there is no rule to how fast the healing from breakup happens – it is just the result of individual’s dispositions.

Yet, it is not a good idea to play with the heart of someone that you will not claim (as a guy) or that you will not belong to (as a woman) – if the breakup was not as a result of misleading from God’s Kingdom and purpose on earth then, there might be some payback, unless people involved (truthfully) repent towards God, and turn a new leaf.

[1] Dag Heward-Mills, Model Marriage (Dag Heward-Mills on Smashwords, 2005) 4.

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