Reasons to avoid deflating your man’s ego

Let us begin by looking at ‘ego’ as an entity: how does it affect people, and what does it do to people?

The WordWeb Dictionary defines ego in three ways:

  1. An inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others.
  2. Your consciousness of your own identity.
  3. (psychoanalysis) the conscious mind.

With the above definitions, we can (unarguably) say that everyone has ego, both men and women, and that – to an extent, ego is good for all, because ‘when situation gets tough, it takes someone who knows him/herself to burrow through challenges and land at the other side – where there is success’.

Therefore, any woman must learn to feed her husband’s ego: at the same time, every man must watch out against his ego becoming pride that will, definitely, cause his downfall.


Ego is not bad if used rightly

As I have established, above – ego helps everyone so much, especially, with the fact that we live in a competitive world where some people could go to any length to discredit others perceived to be standing against their plans (most times, those perceived as hindrances never do anything that could result to blockade of any person’s ambition – it might just be that those hating them do not like their ways of life).

However, the truth remains that ego is a dual entity: possessing both good and evil elements. Thus, I will like you to look into the two views (below) about ego:

  1. A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there’s my personal favorite, the male egoRoseanne Barr.[1]
  2. Male egos require constant stroking. Every task is an achievement, every success epic. That is why women cook, but men are chefs: we make cheese on toast, they produce pain de fromageBelle de Jour.[2]

Now, looking at the two quotes above (from above) – one notices that the first would, surely, take on the male’s ego after doing away with what the mother and the society had done to the man; the second, apparently, takes interest in stroking a man’s ego in order for that man to take on more successes.

Hence, I would say that ego becomes what anyone says it is: its meaning is, then, subjective to individual’s interpretation and attitudes.


Man is a dreamer

I am of the view that every man is a dreamer, although, the degree and intensity of dreams vary from one another, but no matter the littleness of any dream, a man would need a woman (of understanding) to feed his ego (moderately) for a progressive life of achievements.

This is why it is good for a woman to prepare herself, adequately, for marriage – with all counsels needed, aside from the butterfly love syndrome.

The ability of the woman to feed her man’s ego (positively) will determine how far the man could go in life, thus, every woman should learn not to deflate her man’s ego, because:

  1. Every man is a dreamer.
  2. Achieving a set of dreams requires systematic upward movement (stage to stages).
  3. Every man can be discouraged, more (especially) by the woman close to his heart.
  4. The success of a husband becomes that of the wife: deflating his ego will not allow this to happen.
  5. The woman’s assurances of support could be all that a man needs to make some things happen.
  6. Achieving any goals, no matter the gravity of resources available, is a daunting task.
  7. Any man could be intimated at the presence of a slightest threat – without the support of the wife or once the wife starts to utter fierce words, and when the wife begins to attack his ego.
  8. The more achievements the husband have; the more the wife and the children will be able to achieve and/or pursue their own goals too.

It is, therefore, expedient that any woman, before marriage, seeks God’s face to become the priceless woman described in the book of Proverbs.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12, NIV.

It is expedient for every woman to, also, note that it takes deliberate efforts to feed the ego of the husband without being mindful of the husband trying to maltreat her (later) when his dreams are achieved: after all, the wife (with godly understanding) possesses more influence on the husband than any other forces, except God.

[1] AZ Quotes, Roseanne Barr Quotes (


[2] Ibid, Belle de Jour Quotes (

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