There are various types of relationship like children and parents’ relationship, siblings to siblings’ relationship, boss and subordinates’ relationship, head and the subjects’ relationship, marriage relationship and so on.
In this write-up, our focus shall be on the need to have a loving relationship: As in being in a ‘date’ or ‘courtship’ with an opposite gender for the purpose of marrying him or her.
First of all: we should talk about the mode of selection
Every (would be successful) relationship must start in God: the two people who would be involved in it must be born again to the point of understanding the voice of God through the leading of the Holy Spirit before there is the initiation of the relationship.
Selecting a partner means that one wants to leave a facet of life to enter into another. Having a partner is not against biblical stands, because God created human beings for procreation too. “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” …So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
“The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”. Gen 2:18, 20-24, NIV.
Also, in Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud said, “Getting to the next level always require ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth itself demands that we move on”.
Now, it is the period of selection: you must not mess with this
There are things that you need to consider if you want to start a relationship with the opposite gender: without the presence of these things, the two of you might just be in for girlfriend-boyfriend stuff, and this will get you nowhere.
- Visionary:many people can crave a better future, but only few are able to pursue that future. What vision does your would-be partner have within him/herself? The vision does not necessarily have to do with being the president of your country or being the most celebrated super start of his or her generation. It should be about God’s plans. Fulfilling what God has destined him/her to be and there must be practical steps (outlined to achieve them).
- Respect:many people lack respect, not only for their partners, but also for everybody in their lives. You will know a person that have respect for all genders and age brackets from the way s/he talks to people and about people. If you go into relationship and marry somebody that lacks respect, your family members will also share from the junk of your choice.
- Openness:could apply to different aspects of life. What we care for is that your partner be opened to corrections, suggestions, instructions, constructive criticisms, ideas and must be flexible to adapt (positively) to changing situations. Now, we do not mean that your partner must not be ready to go along with you on a sandy/cloudy road – we just do not want to create the awareness of struggling, because you (both) can change your situation to what you desire – with God behind you.
- Heavenly focus:the purpose of starting a relationship with a person must include ‘being found worthy of God’s Kingdom’ at the end of your lives. You must bear this in mind in order for you to raise Godly family and children. Although, all you should care about your partner are not exhausted in this list: we trust that you also know what you want; you have your taste in terms of education, appearance, height and family background. Above all, your (would) be partner must be somebody that God directs you to meet and not the one that you pick on your own.
What are the benefits of having a relationship?
To conclude this write up, we will enumerate some benefits that you will find from having a partner.
- Discovery of your potentials.You may have grasped the vision of who you are but having a partner sharpens your ability to push forward the more until you finally make it. Yes, you have God and He is able to guide you into all truths that will lead to the fulfillment of your potentials: you must realise that you are living in this world and revolving around the established system in the world (not as a worldly person but as a living being). Your partner has the tendency to motivate you into doing more about your potentials.
- You will enjoy focus in your pursuit.Please, note that this happens only if you have relationship with a child of God. If not, your relationship would cause you serious troubles over your pursuit if life because you will not have peace of mind.
- You will also enjoy synergy.This means that you can work (along) your partner in pursuit of a better future. What you should know is that your strength (alone) cannot equate yours and your partner’s put together. This makes things to happen faster for you – with God behind you.
- Spiritual growth. Having a Godly partner means that you are bound for spiritual growth: the partner will ensure that you enjoy the illumination that s/he enjoys in fellowship with Godand in the word of God.
Finally, we want to inform you that you will not be able to receive direction from God (in all areas of your life) if you are not born again. Jesus is the Great Shepherd and His followers are the sheep whom He said hear His voice when He talks to them. “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” John 10:1-5, NIV.
Therefore, say this short prayer:
Father thank you for your grace upon me: I confess and accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. Grant me the grace to work in you and walk with you – all the days of my life; may I find solace in serving you Lord. In Jesus name I prayed, amen.
- Get a Bible and study it daily.
- Pray daily.
- Preach the gospel everywhere.
- Live on the word of God.
- Obey the commands of the Holy Spirit.
 Henry, Cloud, Necessary Endings, Pg 14.